I wish to send you another note, highlighting what I learned the past weekend on, 'Listening to the Core of the Messages' ka.
My learning was:
1. Good listeners are those who look into the eyes of the speakers, have non-verbal behavior showing attention, don't judge what's said, listen till the end, never cut the speakers short of their talks, and let the speakers think and get to the solutions by themselves.
Listeners should practice to be open-minded, appear friendly/approachable, to know how to do the follow-on questions.
It could sound simple but when we practiced listening, it was quite challenging ka. It helps us be aware of our own thinking, reactions, and interactions and what to do to become one good listener ka. All need practice and mindfulness to look into our inner selves ka.
2. I like the 4 types of listening ka:
- I in Me -- sharing what we have in our own selves from mindset to knowledge and skills as well as possible actions, I in It -- giving only the essence of the talk without any emotions, I in You -- telling the speakers from what we learn about their feelings, and I in Now -- offering anything we have in mind listening to the speakers.
I observed that I basically could lean toward 'I in Now' while quite a few participants think that they are 'I in Me' ka. I was surprised to see that younger ones....those in my group, didn't really know how to capture key messages ka.....something we need to stress more and with the AI as helper, our younger gens could lose this ability if not properly guided ka.
3. When listening, I think in our hearts, we need to have kindness and respect while letting loose our sense of seniority and authority to make it effective ka. I feel this could be vital to create 'psychological safety/safe zone' for all ka.
4. Deep listening is when we're able to grasp what's said without prejudice, without spacing out or getting too emotionally caught up with what the speakers say,
5. Attending this kind of training enables me to learn about other people's lives, including their sufferings. It helps me pause to think that behaviors seen can't be judged immediately about the persons since each has been through some struggles/traumas ka.
One case was about a participant from a Chinese-Thai family who was sent to be brought up in another family when she was 2 months old. She's Wednesday's child who came back home before 10 to find her elder sisters and two younger brothers very close to each other. Her dream to yearn for her parents' love wasn't fulfilled and it took her decades to move on ka. Several of us were emotional, me included to be teary loei ka. Listening to such a story with our caring hearts sure helped her feel lighter.
Will attend another listening course next month and will see if I could get more practice to become a better listener ka.
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