#Peaceful Death (2)

 Hi! I'm back to tell you about the second portion of my experience attending Peaceful Death ka.

Two stories I'd like to share ka:

The first was a role play to be either a terminally ill patient or a visitor. 

My role was a patient with two young kids, aged 10 and 15. The husband worked in a province as it concerned job promotion. A friend was about to visit and she stopped by to see me several times already.

Before the visit, all the patients laid down on the floor with a brief lead for us to be calm and focused. Surprisingly, I took up the role instantly to feel deeply worried. So when 'my friend' visited, she saw my tears rolling down. I crafted the context to chat and she tried to offer help ka. The role play turned out to be quite successful as the patient (me) felt hopeful and the visitor knew what she could help.

My learning (from my own exposure and the group sharing) was as follows:

As a visitor: 

- Go with the good intention to visit with a sincere heart which will reflect on one's face and gestures,

- Don't promise or offer what can't be delivered even when we wish to help, 

- Don't say or ask anything negative,  

- Ask what  the patient actually needs and offer help/some options if possible, 

- Touch him/her as seen appropriate, 

- Observe non-verbal behavior and gestures, and

- Listen, listen, listen.

As a patient: 

- Be open to say what's on our mind, 

- Tell the visitor what could be possible for them to help that won't disturb their daily routine too much

- Accept our conditions at the moment to be ready to pass,

- Be prepared to pass by

       - reflecting to know why we still worry and doing what needs to be done, e.g. expression of love/apologies to the ones we wish to say it,

       - writing down clearly how we wish to be handled after we pass in the 'สมุดเบาใจ', identifying how we wish to pass and how the funeral should be. The book will also include what we're proud of and our success stories our family/relatives want to share as needed before or after the death.

       - manage our assets,

       - practice mindfulness as part of our daily life.

 How I wish I had learned it much earlier on! 

Well! this is a bit too long laew na ka. Let me share the second story tomorrow ka.

#Peaceful Death (1)

 Hello all! You must know right away what I'm sharing today and tomorrow na ka.

Peaceful Death is the latest workshop I attended the past weekend. It was a 3-day course, staying over at the Royal Gem, Nakorn Pathom for 2 nights ka. 

There are lots to share and let me go for only 2 parts ka. This will mention the contexts and my overall learning experiences. The second one will share my direct exposure visiting a patient ka.

The context:

1. About 40 participants were there with various objectives ka. A few with their immediate family members, like parents and kids who take care of them, wished to learn what kind of care and support should be given to the elderly and the chronically sick parents. One couple would like each other to be ready for the husband's deadly sickness while another has no kids and so their preparation to handle their final stage of life would be helpful.for both the sick and the survivor.. Many went alone to be more aware and able to manage ka. 

I went with my best friend who has to take care of her mom for any unexpected issues to be faced though at present, she's still functioning quite ok ka. 

For me, I hope to understand better to die peacefully with the least burdens of those around ka. Age ranges from early 30-s- 90's!

2. Activities were led by Pra Paisan who's quite well-known nationwide for his teachings and by a highly capable team to gear us through each of the sessions.

Ice breaking activities responded well to all the age groups, enabling us to get to know some of them while using it to alert us between the sessions (the first two days ran till 9 pm ka.)

3. My lessons learned comprise the following:

- Death is at the corner for each and every one! Even with the best self care and home support, life is fragile at any point of time and day. Yes, a fact of life to accept. Yet, we tend to forget about it ka.

- Palliative Care doesn't mean we reject treatment. It's only for us to treat to ease off some particular issue for the best of our well-being during the final phase with the least sufferings.

- Caregivers can be anyone to take turns. We shouldn't take it for granted that caregivers must be female who have the least career development or education.

- Love is at the core of care! It isn't about duty as kids or siblings but because the love we have for each other makes us feel dedicated to tending to the sick.

- Be ready to let our inner circle know how we want to die! Express it in form of  a book called, 'สมุดเบาใจ' (literally meaning a book of light-heartedness), asking us questions how others should manage during our final days before passing ka.

- Respect the patient's need to offer physical and emotional care. Two-way communication for mutual understanding and proper actions is essential. 

- Guilt will be much less or gone when both agree to the process in advance. This has been the issue we all have faced one way or another and I think this is the key for us all to feel that we've done our best with the consent of the one to pass so he/she die peacefully without worries ka.

- To have no worries during the transition needs serious practice. It's likely that we'll have 'life review' to flash back our past during the transition, some forgotten, others hidden deeply. Reflect and follow with actions, e.g. express our apologies, to tell our loved ones we love them, or to sort out issues to rid the guilts!

Lots chai mai ka? I only share a fraction of what I've tried and learned ka. In the next email, I'll talk about my experience, interacting with a stroke patient and her relatives ka.

Any comment mai ka?

#'Twists and Turns คิดเปลี่ยนในโลกหักมุม'

Hello all. I've read the most recent book by Khun Tonson, Santitarn Sathirathai, entitled, 'Twists and Turns คิดเปลี่ยนในโลกหักมุม' and wish to share a few things what I like most ka:

1. As always, he has the foresight to share with readers how the world has twists and how Thailand has to reconsider itself to survive productively into the future ka. Basically, it's the AI era that has shaken up the world and we need to be aware, understand the implications, keep up, and adjust or make sharp turns, all with sense of urgency.

Thailand is like old yet experienced athlete (40 years old while Vietnam and Indonesia are at 30 on average). Since we can't compete in terms of fitness to run that fast anymore, we need to assess our own selves and think differently while playing smart (be more proactive to identify potential investors, focus on reskill and upskill approaches, investment in infrastructure, and proper economic stimulation.

2. He urges us to 'stay humble' and for him, 'humble' means to be a half-full glass to keep learning, be an under-promise and over-delivered person, and to have the heart of a challenger. All in all, it's the fighting spirit of life-long learner who never stops learning and preparing himself/herself for opportunities when they knock on the doors.

3. To be of high quality, acting like an economist with the horizontal knowledge/exposure across sectors is also helpful to get what economies of ours and the world are and where they're leading the world to na ka. 

4. Different gens doesn't mean intergenerational gaps and conflicts. With empathy, respect for diversity and equality, and understanding of each other's contexts/ecosystem, we should be able to communicate effectively ka.

5. It's a must to collaborate for healthy living, caring for the cross-cutting issues of climate boiling and digital transformation that have and will continue to impact our lives. 

6. Khun Tonson mentioned about happiness in life after his deep reflections. It doesn't focus on successes in work alone any longer. Some of his suggestions are for us to slow down, identify who we are, take care of our health, be a giver, etc.

Want to pick up a copy to read mai ka?

Stay cool kaa!

Leadership from my field experience

 As I told you earlier I wish to share what I learned from a mission ka.

Going to see with my own eyes some big changes of a faculty  gave me real good lessons about leadership.

Meanwhile, I listened to Eighthalf podcast owned by Khun Tong Kaweewut, about change (Ep 1805) from his own experience so I think of combining the two in this message ka.

To change an organization, Khun Tong Kaweewut cited "three L's", which are 'Listening to people, 'Lay out the plan' (Communication), and 'Lead by example'

For me with this specific faculty,  the first two "L's" were really significant. They used so many tools to get comments and feedback from within and outside communities (students, workforce, collaborative and employment communities). I was really impressed by how much time and energy exerted. More importantly,  its communities expressed their appreciation to see that their voices were heard and seen (from actions as solid evidence). Personally, I admire the leading team for having such a strong determination and continuous effort to make this big bold change happen. This clearly showed consistent communication flows, which was helpful to reduce

resistance (noticeable how much it was from some interactions on site!) and call for more buy-ins. I also wonder how the leading team has got its intrinsic motivation......would really love to capture their thinking and actions loei ka. 

In addition, I love its planning components that cover the whole process of before, during, and after to make sure that each step would be assessed for further improvements

The third 'L' for me would rather be called, 'Leaders as One!' When praising the leading team, they said right away that it was because of the leadership and support of their 'CEO'. The CEO also showed mutual appreciation ka. I observed that both CEO and the leading team were very humble about the progress made, noting that they couldn't possibly come to this point on their own.

This doesn't mean the faculty has already been successful in reaching their goals but the humble selves, synergy, and support have been the most valuable source for them to move forward in full force. Their next stage is to ensure that all important steps in the system will be aligned and integrated as planned for key people to act along with the new directions. 

One thing I wish to mention too is about 'trust' ka. This faculty has got lots of trust from its communities/partners. It's good to make things much easier to get started or get going. Yet, it's less good when partners have too few questions which otherwise, would be more helpful to develop further ka.

All the best to them with my thumbs up ka.

Hot Hit Movie #หลานม่า

 Hello all! hope you've been enjoying your long weekend ka.

I disappeared for the whole week with one important mission to let you know sometime later na ka. Today I wish to talk about the movie I just watched yesterday ka....I'm sure you all must have heard about it....the hottest movie, 'หลานม่า' ka!

It caught my attention because I could connect with it almost right away from my own Chinese roots and I found it interesting to see what cultural dimensions would be shared.I googled the translated movie title, which is 'How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies; LAHN MAH, The Chinese Family'. Had I checked it earlier, I could have judged that the grandson wasn't a good person, the grandma must be filthy rich,....etc....and it was possible I could produce one new movie:))!

As there are so many reviews around, I'd like to do it from my perspective linking to international aspects ka.

This is a story of grandma and grandson that to me, highlight the crucial learning is on 'diversity' ka. 

Diversity in this movie comprises some of the following:

- 2 genders: female, male

- 3 generations: Builder, X, and Z

- 3 ethnicities: Chinese, Chinese-Thai, Thai

- 5 jobs: Congee seller, Stock trader, Repairman, Supermarket staff, and Elderly caretaker

- many roles one plays in life from grandma, mom, sister, aunt, etc.

When combining each type of the above diversity, it's shown how different one person can be, making interactions and relationship building challenging. Grandma was born with traditions of 'male-dominant', showing favors/love to son over daughter. Her context gives a high priority to the traditional values of 'gratitude' and 'role of mom/grandma' unlike her grandson who thinks of 'investment and return' when taking care of his grandma.

In fact it's a different definition of each generation that requires all gens to learn, share, and understand ka. Therefore, understanding diversity clearly will benefit us all to open many opportunities for ideas and innovation.

It also shows the reality of life especially in our current and future world of competitions. Families are much smaller and even in the nuclear family, relationship building is more challenging than before. Time to stay closer together with person-to-person interactions is so precious. 

When money has increasingly become more needed, the meanings of life and family relationships need to be rethought and rebuilt with some proper balance.

Asked if you should watch this movie, I highly recommend it ka. It's funny and touching with no boring moments plus quite a few lessons learned loei ka!