Late last week, I had coffee with a Fulbright alum. Got some thinking and learning from him to share here ka.
He said as a science-oriented person, he felt he lacked EQ. The thing was he had been too direct with his staff and the person cried, making him feel bad.
Then he shared another story about his team who basically comprises talents. They tend to challenge others, which could make the other end feel attacked and lose confidence.
We discussed the two cases and I told him the following:
- When a person cries, it could be from several other factors too. In fact, I thought about it and feel he's quite empathetic to share it with me ka...showing he cares about his team members and has reflected how he could have done better.
- Challenging someone in a meeting can be considered positive if we can set our own selves and ideas separately ka. I think in our speedy world of changes, caring is one thing but getting to the points to discuss and draw the best ideas/solutions could be quite healthy with lots of learning dee na ka. (sure if the challenges don't attack the persons or contain improper/impolite terms). Admittedly, if this sort of situation happened 1-2 decade ago, I might have had a different answer ka. But we've developed our professionalism to some extent, meaning that it should be more acceptable for open discussions with less limitations of age, authority, and gender.
It'll be really helpful if the chair/lead of the meeting could turn to be facilitator/coach, offering softer/differing styles of questions or requesting responses as needed ka. This person has to be very focused to remind the meeting that whatever is challenged is aligned with the issues raised and that they're essential for all to reach the shared objectives of the organization na ka.
What do you think ka?
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