Hi! I'm back to tell you about the second portion of my experience attending Peaceful Death ka.
Two stories I'd like to share ka:
The first was a role play to be either a terminally ill patient or a visitor.
My role was a patient with two young kids, aged 10 and 15. The husband worked in a province as it concerned job promotion. A friend was about to visit and she stopped by to see me several times already.
Before the visit, all the patients laid down on the floor with a brief lead for us to be calm and focused. Surprisingly, I took up the role instantly to feel deeply worried. So when 'my friend' visited, she saw my tears rolling down. I crafted the context to chat and she tried to offer help ka. The role play turned out to be quite successful as the patient (me) felt hopeful and the visitor knew what she could help.
My learning (from my own exposure and the group sharing) was as follows:
As a visitor:
- Go with the good intention to visit with a sincere heart which will reflect on one's face and gestures,
- Don't promise or offer what can't be delivered even when we wish to help,
- Don't say or ask anything negative,
- Ask what the patient actually needs and offer help/some options if possible,
- Touch him/her as seen appropriate,
- Observe non-verbal behavior and gestures, and
- Listen, listen, listen.
As a patient:
- Be open to say what's on our mind,
- Tell the visitor what could be possible for them to help that won't disturb their daily routine too much
- Accept our conditions at the moment to be ready to pass,
- Be prepared to pass by
- reflecting to know why we still worry and doing what needs to be done, e.g. expression of love/apologies to the ones we wish to say it,
- writing down clearly how we wish to be handled after we pass in the 'สมุดเบาใจ', identifying how we wish to pass and how the funeral should be. The book will also include what we're proud of and our success stories our family/relatives want to share as needed before or after the death.
- manage our assets,
- practice mindfulness as part of our daily life.
How I wish I had learned it much earlier on!
Well! this is a bit too long laew na ka. Let me share the second story tomorrow ka.
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